Prepare, and be specific
Vague feedback helps no one. 'Your attitude needs to change' lands as an attack and gives nothing to act on. Before the conversation, get clear on the specific behaviour or issue, with examples, and what good would look like instead.
Preparation also calms your nerves. If you know exactly what you want to say and why, you're far less likely to either avoid it or come in too hot.
Write down the specific issue and one or two real examples before the conversation.
Open well, then listen
Start calmly and directly, without a long wind-up. State what you have noticed, factually, and then genuinely listen. Often there is context you didn't know, and the conversation changes once you hear it.
Listening isn't weakness. It is what turns a confrontation into a conversation, and it is usually where the actual solution appears.
Say what you have observed plainly, then ask 'what's going on?' and let them answer.
Agree what happens next
Don't let it end as a vague airing of feelings. Agree what will change, by when, and how you'll check in. Then follow up. A conversation with no agreed next step rarely changes anything.
Done early and kindly, most of these conversations resolve the issue long before it ever becomes a formal process.
Close by agreeing one or two specific actions and a date to review.
“Very professional and timely, with well-written, informative reports. I wouldn't hesitate to recommend her.”
Key takeaways
- Be specific. Vague feedback feels like an attack and gives nothing to act on.
- Open calmly, then genuinely listen, the real issue often surfaces there.
- Agree clear next steps and follow up.
- Dreading a conversation that could turn into something bigger? The free Situation Check will tell you if it needs more.
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